Wow! I've definitely been ignoring this site.
I'm taking a break from closet cleaning. Like many people I keep accumulating stuff and throw it in the closet. But that closet is not very well organized (with shelves and such), so after a while it's a mess. Well, it's looking better now.
As I sat down for a break, I found an email notice from old friend to join her at linked in. Of course I did. But one question I have is how many of these networks will be around in a few years. I don't have too many connections and social network sites I frequent, but I have LinkedIn, Classmates, Facebook, MySpace and this Blogger account. I need a way to connect t hem all so I can keep updating them systematically and not let the time between updates get so long. I must say that this is the account I've not kept up with. I'm on Facebook and LinkedIn quite frequently. And Classmates keeps nagging me with emails that some old friend has found me and sent me an email. I don't like Classmates very much because they tease you with information about that old friend. But unless you sign up for a premium account, you can't see that person email address and easily contact them.
Well, I got that rant out there. Does anyone else feel the same about Classmates, or am I just being a bit silly.
Oct. 15, 2002
it's been so long.
Wow! I knew it had been a week or maybe two, but almost three weeks since I've posted. And, it's not that I don't have anything to write about. The idea of keeping a journal is fascinating to me. I want to put down my thoughts, reactions, etc, but there's still a large part of me that wants to be a private person.
As an avid Google user, I know how easy it is to find anything. Even those things most people throught were hidden away. So, I'm a little cautious about what I put out. Of course, I haven't advertised this adventure so I don't think many folks are reading this. I know my dear friend on the East coast is, but I don't know of any other readers. Perhaps if you've found this site, you might drop me a line or two of comment..I'll have to see how that can be done on this site.
So, what's new. Well, I've gone through the emotional up and downs of being a sports fan. I've followed baseball since I was a kid who lived in Maryland and went to the old Memorial Stadium to the Orioles. I have very good memories of those times. My mother was an avid sports fan (I think I take after her in that regard) and she and I would go to the games. This was before I left Baltimore when I was in 7th grade. So I guess from the 5th grade to the 7th is when I went. We had a good time. My mother and I were very close and enjoyed ding a lot of "girl" things together. She and my father had a difficult time. Now I can understand how time spent at the ball game or shopping was the good part of her life during that time. But, my team the Oakland A's pulled out all the stops during the regular season and made it the first round of the playoffs. They even had a 20 game winning streak and broke all kinds of records during that time. So, they get to the playoffs and what happens. They choked. What a shame. Players that had been stellar became mere shadows of themselves. It wasn't too bad until the 3rd game in Minnesota. Sportswriters had expected them to beat the Twins (or Twinkies) in 4 games. But in that 3rd game, everything went wrong. And they never seemed to recover. They won the 4th game, but lost the 5th and the season came to an abrupt end. I was at the 5th game. I enjoyed having a mother and son outing. We enjoyed the weather and the food, but the game came to a sad close and our team lost. Not only did they lose the game, but they also lost the series. But now, the other team in the Bay Area that has many supporters, but also has some players with attitude, has not only pulled out wins to get into the playoffs, but now has gotten themselves into the World Series. To be honest, they played well enough to beat the Cardinals and deserve to be in the World Series. So this year we have two California teams in the World Series, and I don't care very much about either. Not a good situation. And of course, many folks around here want to support the local team. Like a true sports fan, I know that there will be another season next year. It's just that I'd wanted something good to happen this year.
I guess that brings me to my other concern. It's hard not to be worried about what's going on all around us. As a country we got past 9/11. But look at what's happened since then: the stock market has dived to levels not seen in quite a while. Consumer confidence has dived. I guess folks have finally realized that they are being duped by the car manufactures into buying things they can't really afford right now. But it's patriotic to buy American. But who's going to pay the bills when the checks stop coming or the unemployment runs out. The local papers are running a series on how bad the economy is in this area and just reading it makes me depressed. Office vacancy rate is above 20%. So guess what, there is little commerical construction. Opps, a few more folks looking for things to do. The classified ads in the paper are a joke. They are non-existant. Most of the ads are for cars and car reviews and car parts and more cars and more cars and more cars. But the paper mentions that there is now a serious oversupply of good used cars All these people tradingin their late model cars for the interest free 2002/3 car of their dreams. Now even some of the major retailers are reporting slow sales. If many folks are like me, I don't spend what I don't have. Or, I don't spend more than I bring in each month. Sure there are bargains out there because most folks aren't buying at full price. In this last year, I've only bought a few things outside of my Costco-Target arena. I can most of the things I need for everyday life and at good prices for quality merchandise. I haven't been to a mall to really browse in quite a while. Plus, I need a shopping partner (are you listening friend).
What really worries me is the political situation. It seems to get worse with each week. My significant other hopes that folks will finally read the handwriting on the wall that the Top Guy is really a wimp and is more dangerous than his evil-doers. Now we're about to initiate war on another country. Excuse me, what about the menace in Afghanastain? Is that situation resolved and nice and peaceful:? What about that little skirmish in the Middle East? Do we just walk away and let that deterioriate into something horrible. And how can we as a country, walk away from the Middle East or even Northern Ireland when we've been such an integral part in their reaching out for peace?
Or all of this mess just further vindication that we shouldn't ever again let a *C* student run the country. We definitely need someone with an active functioning brain. The current "leader" has lost too many brain cells during his period of "youthful indescretions". I sure hope folks go to the polls in November and do what they can to limit his abuse of power. And all women, be very careful because your Constitutional right to choose is threatened.
Well, that vent felt good. There is more, but I'll try to write again tomorrow.
Try to keep confident that this evil-dorer too will pass.
9/25/2002
Being Very Busy
I think I've settled down after the kid's visit. Folks who know me always tell me I'm a very patient person. Well, in the case of these kids, I'm not as patient as I ought to be. I've been involved in their lives for 5 years now and I really thought that by now we'd have a pretty good relationship. Yes, I am an optimist. I know that teens are tough and very difficult to deal with. But usually I can break through that hard verneer they want the world to see and get down to their core. But not with these two. And I know their dad is both saddened and frustrated by what he sees and hears. There is so much potential there. I guess the best thing is just not to expect anything good to happen and maybe they'll surprise us with good stuff. But that seems like giving up or lowering the bar on expectations. The one thing that really puzzles me is how to " motivate" the older one. Most folks respond to challenges of "you can't do that" with a "just watch me". But this one, I befieves actually accepts what someone says. Rather than challenging that, she gives up. So, I've tried not reacting like she professes. And, no reaction from her. I truly don't believe she's indifferent. But she feigns not caring as a way of protecting herself. Once or twice I've broken through, but when I have, she totally comes apart. That's not very pleasant either. There doesn't seem to be anything in the middle. This week she didn't feel good. She's not felt well the last couple of times she's been here. So she sleeps and sleeps. We like to have brunch on Sunday, but she was still asleep at 1:30 pm. Then it's another hour or so before she's ready to face the world. And even then she's so cranky, she's not fun to be around. The mother is scheduled to pick them up around 6. That means we are very limited in what we can do. At least this last weekend I just went in the bedroom and turned on the tv and watched the baseball game. Her dad had some projects that needed doing, so he used the time for those. But we could be doing so much more. And I know I feel the frustration of waiting around. Like I said, I'm not as patient as I should be.
The weather has been either hot or cold. We've had some pretty hot days. On Saturday it was close to 100 degrees. Sunday was fairly warm too. And this hot weather situation has fanned a forest fire a little south of here. II's in a rural area, but a lot of folks who might be called "older hippes" who want to get away from busy city life have put down roots out there. Many keep animals. As I drive home I can see the long cloud of mustardy haze over the southern part of the valley. I went shopping in that direction on Tuesday night and you could actually smell something burning in the air. I was probably within 5 or 6 miles of the area. Kinda scary.
And, my work continues very busy. This project is so big and involves several departments. The group I'm with has just a small part. But we need to have our part tested and started for the next group to do their part. And the launch date is rapidly approaching. We've been trying to do some work that's not really related to the project, but having that done should help us with the project. However, that work has taken so much longer than we'd planned. And then the connecting of that project with the important one has been a bear. I'm susposed to find improved data, but that's not what I find. And it's not easy to determine why something is not happening since there are so many variables. So the question is: do I wait on that process being finished or do I start the other tasks manually. Today a co-worker and I started on a semi-manual approach. And tonight I had to stay late and finish one aspect so it could be tested. Let's hope it worked. And, I have to teach other people how to do it. Plus, being the new-kid-on-the-block using a new technique adds to the challenge and complexity. If all goes well, as it should, then we'll have some added value for our customers. Check back in a while and I'll tell you more about it.
But, in spite of all these challenges, there are good things afloat. The day started with my long drive to work. The scenery is magnificient. I am definitely a "purple mountains majesty" person and just seeing the gentle hills between the valley and Pacific ocean really gets me going. As I near the city, frequently clouds or light fog hovers just above. Today is was quite thick. The road I drive is fairly high so I'm pretty close to those clouds. Really neat. And as I came around a big corner and could see the city just ahead, the sky cleared. It was very strange to have the weather in the city clearer than where I live in the valley. I had the radio on to an oldies station and they were playing one of my all time favorities...."Bridge Over Troubled Water" by .Simon & Garfinkle. That 's the first time I listened to it in a while. It sounded great. I usually listen to NPR but I hadn't changed the station from the night before when I was listening to the ball game. I don't mind the hour's drive since I have such nice scenery even tonight when it was just getting dark as I drove home. And tonight's drive home had another good point. I listened to the last inning of the A's game from Seattle. And they managed to win and earn the of American League Western Division Championship title.. Pretty neat for a team without a big star like Giambi.whom they lost to the money-bags Yankees. So next week, they'll be in their own home field for the playoffs. Great! My son has tickets for some of the games and I think this year, I'm going. You just don't know when the opportunity will present itself again. Even this week watching the game on tv, my significant other whose not a died-in-the-wool baseball fan lie yours truly, could be heard encouraging the team with T-Long, T-Long for Terrance Long. I think I may have started something. I may have to get us some appropriate t-shirts. And, it's possible the Giants will also make the playoffs. That will mean both Bay Area teams will be in the playoffs. I don't think that's happened since 1989 when the A's won the quake interruped World Series. I hope we don't have to have another quake for the A's to win. I don't think our collective psyches could take that.
Well, I've written more than I thought I would. Marcia, are you listening..... On to the late news to catch up with the rest of the world.
Boy I know I'm tired. After I posted this, I saw so many errors. I hope I caught them all....
Bye................
9/20/2002
Post 9/11
Well, I sent the url of this blog to a friend of mine and she said...More , more. So here goes.
This last week has been very, very busy. I think I finally got over the fear and trepidation I had going into 9/11. Everything I'd read had told me that the Al-Queda terrorisits didn't really honor dates like we do in Western cultures. All the services of remembrance really weighed heavily on me. I don't know. Even though I didn't personally lose anyone in the attacks. I've been to NY both as an adult and child. My mother was born in Brooklyn, NY has always been a part of my real world. And even now the other person closest to me is a New Yorker. So those attacks were really felt. And the date is also so close to another significant loss in my life. I guess I just have to learn to "go with the flow" during the middle of August until the middle of Sept. I know this year, I actually said to several people that I was experiencing one of my "black clouds". I know for a year or two I would use the expression "a little black cloud floated by" to indicate when I was feeling blue. People seemed to understand that.
And, I guess during this time period I have to face my own "growing older". Most people celebrate birthdays, but I tend to think of them as meaning one year less. I guess it's partially since I've already outlived both my parents. My mother died when I was in my early 30s and that was quite an unexpected blow. I hadn't been close to my father since I was a teenager, but leaned of his death soon after my mother died. So all of sudden in my early 30s I found myself the older generation. That wasn't quite the scenario I had read about and planned on.
I've learned to accept the little "black clouds" and know that they will roll by. This latest cloudy period has passed on.
As I started, this was a very busy week. I'm involved in a big project for a media company. It's very exciting. But like all of these projects, there's always so much uncertainity. You do all the planning. The engineers code like mad. And you put it all together and keep "everything crossed" and hope it works. And that nothing breaks...Well, we're in the putting together right now. It's moving along, but there are a few challenges. And, it would be nice to see some output to see if things are working like we anticipate. Wei'll soon find out. But, it's a bit of touch and go right now. And, we all know that many people are counting on this project.
I did have some fun and excitement this week. On Friday night four of us went to the A's - Ranger's game. Even though it wasn't as thrilling as the A's - Anaheim series earlier in the week, it was a good game. We even sang Take me out to the ball game. A good time was had by all. And the home team won. Neat. And with the A's win, they clinched a playoff spot. There's still a week to play and they could finish as division leaders or the wild card team. But they will be playing in October. And, my son has some tickets for post-season games. It would be really exciting to see one of those.
This weekend we have my significant other's kids visiting. We'd made plans to go to a street festival in our town, but that is not happening. It's very complicated. I think I need to wait until I hear more from them before I comment. Of course, I wasn't too pleased with having to wait almost 45 mins for them to get ready, well one of them, while sitting in the car when it was over 90 degrees. Finally we were invited into the house to wait and offered some cold water. And, the slow child did apologize for keeping us waiting. I guess that is one small step of progress.
Well, it's about time for Sat. nite live, so I'm goiong to watch that.
Hope you've had a good week.
Blog Number 1....Again
I thought I'd actually put up something when I logged in last week, but it seems that the post went into cyberspace.
I decided to join this blog since I felt I needed a place to put my thoughts. I know that I'm the kind of person who gets a lot of satisfaction from putting my thoughts down.
Other friends have started blogging and I thought it might be useful for me. It seems that the times we are living in are rather complex. I guess every generation has said that. I've always been an optimist and been able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know if it's that I'm older, but this particular time seems especially troubling.
I guess a large part of it is that I have so little confidence in our current political leaders. We all have different political viewpoints and can understand how one party wants to use their time to get their ideas in place. But, the current crop seems to want to reverse "progress" in so many areas and return us to the simpler times of our parents. Unfortunately, the world and its people have changed. The current administration seems to want to view the world and its peoples simplistically as either right or wrong. And, of course their thinking is right and if you don't agree than you're either unpatriotic, an "evil-doer" or immoral. What ever happened to the great 'unifier". Or maybe the concept of unification is that everyone subscribes to the one unified view of the leader. The current administration doesn't recognize the color gray or respect other viewpoints. That is probably too complex an idea for the "simple" farmer from Texas. Of course, we Californians recognize gray. In fact we even elected a "gray" governor. And this governor is very gray, but women don't have to worry living in those simplier times when coat hangers and trips across the border were the only solutions to an unwanted pregancy or rape from an "uncle" for many poor wormen.
It's finally 9/14. It seems like "we" have made it past the anniversary of 9/11 without the other shoe dropping. I don't think I really felt that the "evil-doers" would actually launch an attack. From everything I've heard that is not consistent with their culture. I rather expected some other "mischievous" types to send a few letters with white powder or toss some firecrackers at a sporting event. With everyone on "high" alert, hoaxes would be enough to panic a lot of people.
I know that I as I drove to work along a major road that has few big trucks, I looked at every truck driver carefully. I did notice increased police presence. Of course, they may have been there since very few drivers on this road stay under the speed limit, so it's a fruitful patrol.
Of course all the saber rattling and threats of pre-emptive strikes on Iraq are a little unnerving. I'm still not convinced that Iraq would actually initiate military action against the US. But he would be justified in retaliating if we did. And then once something is cooking in Iraq who do we take on next? Or what other areas would erupt? I don't think we should minimalize the complex situation in Indonesia or other parts of South East Asia. I thought this administration felt the military services had been so marginalized and reduced to incapacity that they'd need billions of dollars and years to build them up. If that was true, then why are they sending these men and women out be slaughtered. Oh you say, that was just political rhetoric... Well, in the simplistic world of black and white, that statement was a lie which is not what you'd expect out of an administration that prides itself on restoring honor and decency... I do detect a bit of hypocrisy.....
Well, I must say this is fun. I don't know if anyone is listening, but I feel better for having written....
Till next time,
